Why you want and how to take critical feedback

 

Have you ever been given a gift you didn't really want?  Something that was practical but no fun at all?  Maybe when you were young you wanted a new video game but you got socks instead.  Socks is not a fun gift.  You didn't want it, but.... you needed it. 

Critical feedback is a lot like socks.  You don't want to receive it but you usually need to hear it.  You don't want to receive it because it hurts.  It feels like a personal attack and you have an instinct to defend yourself or with back, as if you're being accused of some crime. You need it though.  You need critical feedback because it shared a perception of yourself you may not see.  It helps you become self-aware of a problem you may have.  It shows you where your behaviors or performance are not living up to the standards you or others expect.

The most important thing to do when receiving critical feedback is to remind yourself not to take it personally.  If you are having a performance review and did not meet your performance expectations during the last period, remember that the criticism is of a behavior or a result, not of you personally.  If you are able to detach the critical feedback from the emotion of being attacked, you will enable yourself to view the feedback in an objective and positive light.

Be here now

Remember when receiving critical feedback that you should be involved in the conversation.  If your boss asks if you have a moment to chat, be honest.  You want to be sure you'll have the ability to devote your attention to the conversation at hand. If you don't have the time, be honest and ask to reschedule.  Tell them you're current engaged in X or Y but have time at whatever time you're free next.

Ask questions

Ask questions.  If you're receiving critical feedback, ask for examples of what has gone wrong. If it's a behavior or a performance number, don't be afraid to dig in.  You want to be sure that you understand where the issue occurred. 

Consider the impact you're having

Are you underperforming in performance results?  Are you modeling a behavior that's not consistent with expectations?  Think about how what you may be doing might be affecting those around you.  If you're not meeting performance expectations, you could be holding back your leadership from meeting their targets.  You could also be causing your peers to pick up the slack for you. If you're not modeling the right behaviors, you may be setting a poor example for those you work with.

The right outcomes

We are big fans of defining the right outcomes. We've written on it quite a bit including in our book The Success System.  It's important to understand where you need to go.  If you've been given critical feedback, ask what right looks like.  Sometimes that's obvious.  If you're showing up late to work, you need to show on time and shouldn't ask what right looks like.  Sometimes, the right result can be more nuanced.  For example if you receive critical feedback that your customer interactions aren't up to standards, this is a more subjective assessment.  You will need to ask for examples of what right would have looked like, so that you have what you need to implement change.

No time to waste

Anytime you receive critical feedback, you will have to make a decision on how to implement it.  Sometimes the best time to do that is immediately and sometimes the best time is to take a break, gather your thoughts and come back with a different attitude.  Either way, be sure to have a plan and implement it quickly. You don't want to spend a single second longer performing in a way that takes you further away from your goals. Implement the changes now and start moving closer to your targets.

How have you reacted to critical feedback?  Did you feel overwhelmed?  Did you implement change quickly? Tell us in the comments below.