Say no! Why you need to do it and 4 tips on how to do it.


Saying  yes is easy.  People are wired to say yes and please other people. Saying yes doesn't result in any conflict. Saying yes doesn't require you come up with an explanation of why you're refusing the request that's been put before you. Here's a secret though.  Saying no is just as easy, after you've practiced it a bit. 

Why should you say No?

Saying no is important. You can't do everything for everyone. It's good to say no and stand your ground when it's important.  You don't want to be that person that says yes to everything and is miserable all the time. 

  • You don't want to be a doormat.  Saying yes all the time teaches people that they can always come to you and you will always be there to pick up the pieces.  Remember that you teach people how to treat you, so be sure to no when you need to.
  • You don't always have the time. You have your own priorities and deadlines that you're worried about and need to tend to. Don't allow yourself to say yes to taking on things that will prevent you from doing the things that are important to you. That will only lead to you either never getting to what you wanted or having to work extra late to makeup the lost time.
  • Saying yes all the time isn't good for the other people. Sometimes people get stuck on something and just want to delegate it to someone else.  Or they always delegate something they don't like doing to you because they know you'll say yes.  Do them a favor and say no. They'll be forced to figure out a way to do it themselves and grow in the process.

How do you say no?


We already know that saying no is important.  It's good for you, it's good for them and you need the time to work on your own things. Let's look at how to say no instead of saying yes.

  • Be direct and straightforward.  Don't use weak language, like "I'd like to but", "I can't right now", "I wish I could" etc. This only invites a deeper conversation into why and gives the impression that you would say yes if only you could.  Instead be more direct and say something like "No, I can't help with that."
  • Do not offer explanations. You don't owe an explanation for why you're saying no. In fact offering explanations can get you into a spot where you feel you have to say yes. For example if you say "I can't do that right now because I'm working on this other project." They could say "Great! As soon as you're done I'll be back!"

  • Do offer alternatives. You don't have to just say no. Sometimes you should offer an alternative. Try "No, but you should check with Sally.  She's an expert at that." or "No, I recommend you take a look at this article. It should have what you're looking for."
  • Be honest. Don't make up a story to get out of doing something that you don't want to. Not only is this a weasel's way to get out of something you risk being caught in your lie. Instead be honest that you simply cannot do it.  You don't need to make up a story anyway because you don't need to offer an explanation. 
  • Repeat yourself. You may be asked again, you may be asked the next day or the next time a project like this comes up for the other person. Be ready to say no again. Remember that you teach other people how to treat you, so say no and mean it. 
If you're used to saying yes all the time, saying no is going to be different. In all honesty it will probably be scary at first, and that's OK. The feeling of satisfaction you feel afterwards will be worth it. You'll even feel more confident and that will show through in other things you do and have a much more positive impact on you than saying yes to doing other people's work.


Do you say yes all the time or do you say no? What experiences do you have in saying no?  Tell su below. 



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