7 Effective ways to stand up for yourself and get the respect you deserve

 

No one intentionally goes out and chooses to be taken advantage of by others. It often happens by accident or because they back down from confrontation. Everyone has a desire to be respected by others and to be seen as strong as powerful. This may seem like a mountain to climb, at first, but with a few powerful strategies you can stand up and get the respect you deserve. 

Reflect first

Before you can begin any journey you need to understand where you're at and where you want to go. Stop and think about how people treat you, why that may be and how you feel about it. This can have a powerful motivating effect on you to make change. Once you've determined where you currently stand, you need to decide where you want to go. What does standing up for yourself look like to you? Do you admire someone that appears strong and has the respect of others? What do they do or say that appears to be different from what you do?

You teach other people how to treat you

Other people will treat you in the way that you have taught them too. For example, if your boss calls you late at night and on weekends and asks you to do additional work and you always say yes, they will learn that that behavior is OK.  You may be upset and angry towards your boss for this, but you must understand that you allowed this environment to occur.  Understand what your personal boundaries are and make it clear when something is not OK.

Be authentic

Be the person who you really are.  Earlier in my career I was told that I am highly direct and that can be off putting to some people. I embarked on a journey to change that about myself and become less direct and more soft spoken. This was not being authentic to who I am naturally.  Fortunately I had a colleague that cared enough about me to give me critical feedback. They told me to be who I really am, to be authentic. Everyone can tell when you're putting on an act and no one will respect that. Be who you really are and you'll get a much better reaction from people. 

Speak your mind

Speaking your mind and being honest with people. If someone is proposing a new process or procedure at work and you think it can be done differently or better another way, you need to speak up. Let them know what you think and why you think another way could be a better option. 

Reap what you sow

You reap what you sow is an old lesson that teaches that you get out of something what you put in. You will get the respect that you give. You may not like someone else or you may not always agree with them, but it's important to treat others with respect. This is as true for the janitor at your work as it is for the CEO. People will give respect back to people who show it to them.

React at the right time

Sometimes people will attack you or make you angry. It is completely normal to have an emotional reaction and feel the need to step in and defend yourself. While this may feel like the natural reaction you need to stand your ground when the time is right. Allow the other person to make their point first and then respond by first addressing what they said and explaining why that is not correct and what the truth is. Be firm with your language without going back on the offensive. You are there to calmly and clearly articulate the facts. This is a devastating way to win an argument against an aggressor without dropping down to their level.

Practice makes perfect

Practice makes perfect. It can take weeks to form a new habit. Be sure to be consistent in exercising your new behaviors. If you are trying to change how other people treat you, not only are you practicing a new behavior but you are teaching other people who to treat you in kind. Understand that this will take time and not be immediate. like embarking on a new journey you will not reach your destination instantly but with small steps along the way. Over time you will get closer and closer to your goal.

Standing up for yourself can seem hard, but with self reflection, careful and deliberate action and consistency you can get the respect you deserve. Have you worked through these challenges before? Tell us below!