How successful people work with someone they can't stand

 

Everyone has to work with or deal with people that they don't like. This can be as temporary as a lunch date or as often as a team member at work. The important part is that while you may not like this person, you find a way to work with them successfully. Successful people master the art of working with people they can't stand and can even learn to draw benefits from these relationships.

It's your problem

The first thing you need to recognize is that this is your problem. You may not like the way they think about things, they may say things you find stupid or a myriad of other irritating behaviors my grind on you when you interact. The reality is that this person may actually like you or have no idea that they annoy you. It's important to manage your own reactions and remind yourself that you have a job to do and that your emotions need to be checked at the door.

Identify what's positive about the other person

Those things that annoy you are only part of the other person. They certainly have both strengths and weaknesses, just like you. Intentionally stop to observe or think through what the strengths of the other person are. This will help you to appreciate what they are good at. In fact, you may find that their strengths are different from your own and complimentary. While you may not like that person, working together can have a lot of benefits since you bring more to the table together.

Don't gossip

You may want to stand at the coffee maker and tell your coworkers how much this person annoys you but don't do it! Not only is this unprofessional, it's mean and potentially dangerous to your career it's also bad for you personally. The last thing you want is for your negative feelings to get back to your the other person. While you may think you can trust your coworkers with your feelings, often times people feel obligated to tell the other person what is going on. They may even do it thinking they're helping. Worse though is the damage gossiping can do to you personally. You will find yourself in a cycle where you're focused on the negative over and over again. This is poisonous to your own attitude so don't gossip!

Get to know the other person

You know what you don't like about the other person and by now you've identified their strengths. Take it a step further and get to actually know the other person on a personal level. Having a personal relationship with the individual will help create a closer bond between you. Over time you may find that you actually care about this person and that those things that once drove you crazy start to fade into the background. This person may go from an enemy to a friend and ally.

Know why it's important to work with the other person

You need to identify why it's important to work with this person. They may be the only one that can do a specific task or they might be assigned to work the same project with you. Whatever the reason, identifying why you need to work with this person is key to having a successful work relationship. Famously the Mythbusters, Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman can't stand each other. Despite this they had to work with each other to be successful on the show. They also had a great respect for the others strengths and talents and knew they needed to work with them for that reason.  

Successful people are masters at working with both people they like and dislike. They are not only able to work with people they dislike, but the person they're working with may not even know it. The successful person gets the benefit of a job well done without the drama. They get to move on with their work day and life with a positive attitude and move on to the next challenge.

We've all worked with people we can't stand. How did you handle it?